Monday, June 30, 2014

Announcement: Summer Hiatus Over!

Dear Valued Readers,

I'm all settled into the new place and back online!  "Danger Cave 1" is fully operational!  I'll start posting on July 1st, barring unforeseen complications.  I'd like to thank everyone who commented, e-mailed, and Tweeted their support during my absence.

Unfortunately, my internet connection's not quite as fast as it was back at my old place.  My last house was in walking distance of a community college, so I had a lightning fast internet connection.  My new place is so far out into the boonies that it's a ten minute drive to Store.  That's not a typo.  The nearest place of commerce is a small, windowless building labeled "Store."

There's a huge handmade sign hanging just outside Store's one windowless door promising crawlers. When I asked if the sign referred to doughnuts or bait, a man wearing overalls and a flannel shirt in ninety degree heat treated me to ten minute rant about how Store stocks BOTH as part of fiendishly clever marketing ploy designed to draw traffic both on the way to AND from the local fishing hole.

In case you were wondering, I bought the bait.  Upon examination, it was the more sanitary option.

I would have been back online last week, but hijinks ensued when the AT&T guy who came to install the DSL modem I ordered pointed out that the old lady who lived here before me never bothered installing actual phone jacks.  The two sockets I stupidly mistook for phone jacks were both itty bitty wall safes with absolutely no internet inside.  My brother spent the entire week tormenting me by folding up little pictures of cats and stuffing them into said wall safes to simulate internet reception.

Until I adjust to the slower speed, my daily posts may be a little less frequent than prior to my hiatus.  I sincerely hope that you'll stick with me through the coming adjustment period, because I'm creeping up on the poverty line and the ad revenue from this blog is only about three years of growth from pushing me over the threshold.  Come on, dollar a day!

Yours Truly,

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Announcement: Summer Hiatus


Dear Valued Readers,

My parents have recently informed me that, ironically, retirement nest eggs are built under the presumption of eventually having an empty nest.  So, I'm moving out of my parent's old house at the end of the month, so that they can sell it to VERY SELFISHLY bankroll their retirement, because, evidently, I "don't need eight rooms to myself to watch cat videos all day."

Hopefully, most of my moving will be accomplished in the first week of June...

HOWEVER, my luck being what it is, you should be aware that if I run into any sort of trouble (broken monitors, lost Ethernet cables, suicide attempts in the face of carrying a quarter ton of books up two flights of stairs), I may be out of contact for a while.  My life has yet to afford me the opportunity to look back at a relocation and reflect upon how smoothly it went.  Most of my experiences with a moving van have played out like a poorly written episode of I Love Lucy.

I will try to pack my computer last, unpack it first, and bully the cable company into a prompt appointment with threats of subscribing to DSL, but let's face it, the cable company knows I'm their bitch, sure as if they had me strung out on crack.

Worst case scenario, I'm unpacking my five hundred boxes of books in ninety degree heat while grappling with internet withdrawal through June and back on duty in July.  Best case scenario, my parents have a change of heart and come out of retirement to continue support me in the style to which I have grown accustomed ...  or I get the cable activated promptly at my new broke-down apartment ("Danger Cave 1") sometime in the second week in June.

Either way, I sincerely hope that you'll keep this site in your bookmark roster through coming content lull, wish me luck each time your back aches in the coming month, and drop me a line if you hear of any crooked nursing homes willing to snatch up admit parents who are only mildly senile.

Yours Truly,

Admin, The Geek Art Gallery

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