Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Source: ReD&Dit Subforum
This is the most epic start to a Reddit forum thread I've ever encountered. It's been scrolling across my Tumblr dashboard for the past few weeks, and I laugh every single time I see it. A few people have tacked on extra bits since the original post:
Fortitude is not throwing up a bad tomato.
Reflex is keeping yourself from falling into a box of tomatoes.
Will is being able to stop yourself from becoming obsessed with tomatoes.
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