Redditor TheGlen offered up a novel theory on the D&D Subreddit earlier this year. He proposes the head canon that Gandalf wasn't actually a wizard, but rather, a high-level fighter with the intelligence to use a magic device to front as a wizard. He backs his head canon with some plausible but seriously trippy reasoning. His argument starts like this:
"Gandalf lied, he was no wizard. He was clearly a high level fighter
that had put points in the Use Magic Device skill allowing him to wield a
staff of wizardry. All of his magic spells he cast were low level,
easily explained by his ring of spell storing and his staff. For such an
epic level wizard he spent more time fighting than he did casting
spells. He presented himself as this angelic demigod, when all he was a
fighter with carefully crafted PR.
His combat feats were apparent. He has proficiency in the long sword,
but he also is a trained dual weapon fighter. To have that level of
competency to wield both weapons you are looking at a dexterity of at
least 17, coupled with the Monkey Grip feat to be able to fight with a
quarter staff one handed in his off hand at that. Three dual weapon
fighting feats, monkey grip, and martial weapon proficiency would take
up 5 of his 7 feats as a wizard, far too many to be an effective build.
That's why when he faced a real wizard like Sarumon, he got stomped in a
magic duel. He had taken no feats or skills useful to a wizard. If he
had used his sword he would have carved up Sarumon without effort.
The spells he casts are all second level or less. He casts spook on
Bilbo to snap him out his ring fetish. When he's trapped on top of
Isengard an animal messenger spell gets him help. Going into Moria he
uses his staff to cast light. Facing the Balrog all he does is cast
armor. Even in the Two Towers his spells are limited. Instead of
launching a fireball into the massed Uruk Hai he simply takes 20 on a
nature check to see when the sun will crest the hill and times his
charge appropriately."
The best part, though, is that another Redditor calling himself
ShazzikinZ takes the theory and runs with it. In his thread, he delves deeper into Gandalf's motivations, proposing that "LOTR is just the story of the skeevy homeless stoner from The Hobbit
getting clean and trying to atone for all the shit he caused while High."
